"Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships, are the building blcoks of healthy development" (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4)
I have many relationships in my life - I have the relationships within my family both immediate and extended, my working group, my close circle of friends that I have known all my life and friends that I have only know a few years. Relationships are important to me because the relationships I have in my life have helped create who I am in this world. Some of the relationships I have had - had made small impacts in my life to help guide me with decisions and other relationships have made huge impacts in my life.
My husband is someone that I have both a positive partnership and relationship with. We have known each other a very long time and I met him when I had just graduated high school. At that time in my life I was young and carefree and a lot of dreams floating around in my head. As we have gotten older together we have both learned that a key to our relationship and parternship was communication. Communication didn't have to be verbal but being able to express ourselves. Email became our best friend (this was before the days of cell phones and texting) and I waited by the mail box for a letter by snail mail. As our relationship blossmed into something more we formed a partnership to last a life time. In order to have this partnership a key to keeping this partnership was the trust that we had for each other and in each other. One of the reasons I value this relationship is because I am able to share my dreams with my husband and he is able to help me achieve my dreams - whether it is just with him being there to support me, help out financially or even pushing me to take the first step he is there for me. He has helped me to be a better person both personally and professionally.
Another relationship that I have a positive relationship with is sickness/illness. This may be an unsusual relationship but even though this relationship can be mean to people the relationship has helped me to live a better life. I have learned through illness that there is more to life than work, I need to tell the people I love - that I love them more and I when I want a day to play hooky I don't have to feel bad about it. We never know if we will awake to see tomorrow so we need to live today as if it is our last day on earth.
My two year old daughter is also someone who I have a positive relationship with. She has taught me that I don't have to feel guilty about going to work every day instead of being with her during the day. She helped my husband and I communicate even more as we learned to become first time parents. She has helped me to learn that I can ask for help and I won't be considered a failure. She has learned to trust me that I will be there for her. As I have grown as a mother over the past 2 years I have learned to value the time when she wants to hold my hand and walk on the beach or when even when she is adamant she doesn't need my help putting on her clothes. I have learned to understand that in relationships that both parties need to be able to grow and trust each other.
One of the keys that I see in all relationships is trust both professionally and personnally. If I don't have trust with my co workers this will not create a good work environment and if I don't trust my family or friends we will not be able to communicate with each other.
You made some reall great points. Relationships are a key to our lives and they can be both positive impacts and not so poitive impacts. You stated, "one of the keys that I see in all relationships is trust both professionally and personally". That is so true. I was just in a leadership training class on Thursday,and I learned a lot on how to be a leader. One of the things I learned is how to treat you workers. Building a trustful relationship with my teachers is important to me because that is part of my growth. My family also has played a big in who I am today. Children are keys to who we are. I remember before I had my daugther, I used to party alot, (she is 16 now) but when she was born, she had a part in me not wanting to do those things anymore. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYour post was very interesting to read. I can agree with your definition of trust. It must be present in all areas wether they are professional or personal areas of our lives. It seems that you have taken a negative and turned it into a positive when you talk about illness. Great perspective,That is awesome, Positive attitudes like that help us in everything we encounter in life.
ReplyDeleteMalinda, I loved the way you have included illness in your relationships. I agree that it is unusual, but I, for one, can identify with it to a great extent. A relationship can be defined as how more than one is connected. It could be people, concepts, or even a state of being. My father was paralyzed for twenty years; and his relationship with his illness must have been a positive one as well, because I remember him demonstrating love and compassion toward everyone he encountered. I have never met a healthy person who had a higher spirit, or a more cheerful attitude than my dad. This has been a great buffer to me against quitting. Thank you for reminding me of this vital wedge of my support circle.
ReplyDeleteYou stated that you have a positive relationship with is sickness/illness. That is a very unique thing. In addition, it is very deep.
ReplyDeleteI classify "playing hooky" as a stress day. Working with children, families of children, co-workers and others can take a toll on you mentally. I think it is imperative to take time off and "whoosa", but not too many that it affects your work and/or others. With an attitude such as yours, I'm sure those in your life are quite pleased to have you apart of theirs.
I like the fact in your relationship reflection you stated that you have a positive relationship with sickness/illness. This is very different I would have never equated this with a relationship in my life. But the fact that you embrace it and tell people that you love them often is something I struggle with. I lost someone in my life to sudden illness that I wish I would have told that I love them more.
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